knows nothing about cars
would be able to spot a ‘67 Chevy Impala from the 53rd floor of a building
through the fog
by the sound of the motor
GUYS WE NEED TO REEVALUATE OUR LIVES.
YOU KNOW THE SCOOBY DOO GANG?
VELMA IS 15.
FRED IS 16.
DAPHNE IS 16.
SHAGGY IS 17.
SCOOBY IS 7.
WE ARE LITERALLY THE SAME AGE AS THE SCOOBY DOO GANG MY ENTIRE LIFE IS A LIE.
EVERYONE MUST BE ENLIGHTENED OF MY HEART BREAKING DISCOVERY. I’M TAKING YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME.
IM OLDER THAN THE GANG NOOOO
this baby just knocked itself the fuck out what an idiot
Alternate Universes are pure gold
I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
Every woman has mastered this. We are actually born with this skill.
You level up when you can do it with long sleeves
I was the only girl on an all-boys varsity soccer team. I had to change on the bus during away games because I didn’t have a locker room at other schools. I was not uncomfortable with that, actually. I did what I had to.
But one day I noticed that like three guys who were seniors were just staring at me as I did this and I must have shot them a dirty look because one of them (who is actually a family friend) was like “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to stare, but we’re still trying to figure out how the hell girls do that” and I just felt bad. They just want to get their girlfriend’s bra off without losing an eye and we can remove the whole thing like fucking wizards
i told my mom about this post and she went ‘wait, you can do it with long sleeves? um, i’ll be right back’
so my roommate often talks in his sleep
normally it’s just things in spanish, or gibberish, or fragments of sentences
but tonight his true colors came out and i hear him say excitedly
"Yeah guys, and now it’s time to Bedazzle everything.”